


Business Awards

by orphan_account



Category: EastEnders
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:46:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode Rewrite - when Syed would have come clean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Business Awards

Title: Business Awards  
Category: TV Shows » EastEnders  
Author: Lyra522  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K+  
Genre: Drama/Romance  
Published: 04-08-11, Updated: 04-08-11  
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,549  
Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Title: Business Awards (previously untitled)  
Words: 2500 approx.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Episode rewrite from last summer - what I considered Syed's perfect opportunity to come clean. Obviously going down this route didn't work for the story arc they had in mind but this is how I would have liked it to have gone.

"Amira!"

"...Hi..."

"You haven't been around."

"I, uh, I went to see my dad."

"Oh...I didn't...how is he?"

"Same as always."

"Look, I wanted to say I-"

"Actually I can't stick around."

"Wait!"

Syed opened his wallet and pulled out a wad of twenties.

"And this is for?" Amira eyed it warily.

"Consider it an apology."

"Syed you can't just buy me off everytime we have an argument."

"I thought you might like to go into town and buy yourself something nice."

"What? First you come onto me and then when I give you the brush off you try and ply me with money! What is all this about, Syed? I feel like I barely know you anymore. You're not the Syed I met and fell in love with."

Syed looked at her. The image of Christian's face beneath him last night ran through his mind. The hurt look on his lover's face every time Sy announced he had to leave and go back to Amira.

"Amira, I...there's something I need to tell you."

"Oh?"

"In private."

"I don't think..."

"The square, then. Arthur's bench. Just, not in here where everyone's listening."

A few minutes later, sitting on opposite ends of Arthur's bench, Syed wondered if he was really going to do this. Yet this might be the best chance he would ever have. Amira already knew something was up. She already didn't want to be around him.

"I shouldn't have done what I did, but you should know it wasn't about sex. At least, not in the way that you think. Look, I've had a lot of girlfriends over the years. I wasn't playing around, I swear, I just got uncomfortable when girls started wanting intimacy. I wasn't comfortable with that so I'd break it off and then someone else would come along and it would start all over again. When you said that you wanted to wait, it was like a dream come true. The perfect relationship. Only its not and I'm being unfair to you because..." Syed scrubbed a hand down his face. He wasn't saying this very well. "I think I'm gay, Amira. I came onto you because I wanted to prove that I wasn't. I wanted to prove to myself I could be with you like I'm supposed to want to be with you but I can't pretend anymore. You're the most beautiful woman on the planet and I still can't..." Syed broke into a sob. "I can't be gay, Amira. I just can't. I'm a Muslim..."

Amira had tears welling in her eyes, caught between the terrible feeling of watching her perfect relationship crumble before her eyes and the pain at seeing her fiance in so much pain. Even as her own heart was breaking though, she reached out and took his hand. Syed, gay? If anyone else had said it she would have thought they were lying but the gut-wrenching pain in Syed's eyes wasn't something anyone made up. "Syed..."

"I'm sorry I lied. I really, really am," Syed half sobbed, half-whispered. "But I didn't know what to do. I didn't want you to be alone with your father still in prison and my parents. If they find out..."

"How long have you known?" She turned to look at him, demanding with expression a fully honest answer. "Syed?"

"I don't know. A few months, I guess. Longer, maybe. I tried to ignore it – the thoughts, the feelings. I tried to change but nothing works! I don't want to be gay, I want to be straight! Amira, what am I going to do?"

"It hurts that you kept this from me, Syed. You could have told me." Amira shook her head. "We were supposed to get married."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry..." Syed broke down but to his astonishment a tissue appeared with Amira's hand attached and he took it gratefully and tried to get himself under control. "I guess this means the wedding is off, huh?"

Amira could only nod and finally she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "How could you keep this from me? How could you propose to me knowing that about yourself?" Her words broke off with a sob and she finally let herself cry. "How could you let me fall in love with you? You've broken my heart!"

Syed didn't try to apologise. It would just sound empty. But he sat and held her hand as their relationship disintegrated before them. After much crying and harsh words on Amira's part the sobbing finally began to abate. "You're still here?"

"I couldn't leave you like this. I do care about you, and if there's any woman I could have married it would have been you."

"Thank you, I think, but I can't be around you right now. I suppose I should be thankful. At least you told me before the wedding."

"I shouldn't have let it go on this long."

Amira squeezed his hand. "I do understand, Syed. I, of all people, know what our culture is like. I'm hardly your mum. Do you really think I would have thought badly of you if you'd told me back at the beginning? Before I fell in love with you?"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that."

"S-" He cut himself off and cleared his throat. "Tell people its my fault. I don't mind. I want you to be happy. Find someone who deserves you."

"Yeah, well," Amira sniffled. "Since we're in the mood for confessions I should probably tell you my father never actually gave his approval for the wedding. I might as well use that as our cover story."

"You mean you're not going to tell everyone?"

"I think being Muslim and gay is punishment enough, don't you? I, of all people, know what our community can be like and your mother..." Amira tailed off with a shudder. "I take it she doesn't know?"

"No. None of my family do. So, its over?"

"What do you think?" Amira snapped.

"Right."

Amira got up, took a few steps away and then turned around. "Syed, can I ask you something?"

He looked up.

"Is there someone else?" The question was quiet, hushed so that no one passing by might hear, but it was there nonetheless.

"I don't know. Maybe. Its confusing."

Fresh tears welled in both their eyes.

"Is it Christian?"

Syed opened his mouth and then closed it again. No, he wasn't ready for anyone to know about them yet. It was one thing to tell Amira he was gay but to give too much away might lead to her guessing bout his affair.

"Christian guessed. He's been a really good friend. Please don't think badly of him for not telling anyone. I swore him to secrecy."

"You like him, don't you?"

"Amira, I-"

"Don't, Syed. Please. Just don't."

And with that Syed watched her walk away for the last time. She still had the apartment here. Her job at Booty's and with her father in prison on remand – not that anyone else knew that – he expected her to be around the square until her father's lawyers got things sorted out which could take weeks yet. Other times he'd imagined doing this he saw himself running straight to Christian and telling him but he was emotionally wrung out. Instead he headed home to bed and napped the afternoon away.

He still felt terrible by the time dinner rolled around but he put on a brave face for his family and when everyone went to bed, which tended to be quite early on account of his father's early mornings, he slipped out and made his way to Christian's place.

Syed had of course intended to tell him, but no sooner had he knocked on Christian's door than he found himself pressed up against it, Christian's tongue down his throat and their erections grinding together.

They didn't get a whole lot of talking done after that.

The following morning at the Masood house it was all smiles as Jane and Ian arrived so they could all travel to the awards ceremony together. It had been a close call that morning. Syed had stayed over at Christian's again but had fallen back asleep after Christian got up and had slept in. Only a thinly veiled excuse about an early walk, which had barely gotten past his mother, had stopped her from probing further. Now dressed in his bow-tie and white shirt, he was surprised that Christian wasn't with Jane and Ian. Syed had been looking forward to seeing him dressed up. He always looked good in a suit and in a tux...

"So is, uh, Christian meeting us there?"

"No, he's not coming. Said he'd look after Bobby instead. Reckons its not his scene," Jane replied.

"Oh, well. Dressing up. Poncing about. Free champagne. I can see why he'd feel uncomfortable with it," Masood joked.

Syed frowned. "That's really weird. He's part of this company too. He should be there with us."

"Don't tell me. I tried," Jane exclaimed.

Well, Syed wasn't going to let this one go. Amira had been 'paid off' and Syed had been looking forward to a whole afternoon in Christian's company. "Give me ten minutes. Don't leave without us."

A couple of houses up Christian was looking after Bobby in the Beale house.

"Another stripe..." Christian painted Bobby's face. "...be a little more ferocious. What d'you think?"

Bobby looked in the mirror and growled. Christian smiled and laughed. He loved kids. Not that it did any good to linger on that thought.

In the background the front door opened as he was having a moment with Bobby. Lucy walked into the room.

"You've got a visitor." Lucy leaned on the door.

Syed walked into the room. "Uh, something's come up. Work."

Christian gave him a dark look and took in a sharp breath. He knew where this was going and it wasn't going to be pretty. The business awards. "Lucy, you wouldn't mind just..." Christian flicked his eyes towards Bobby.

"We'll be at the swings," Lucy agreed reluctantly.

"Thanks babe."

"Come on, Bobby," Lucy picked up Bobby's bow and arrows to go.

"Hey, don't forget your mask." Bobby took it from Christian. "See ya mate!"

Inside Syed warmed to see Christian so domestic, but that wasn't why he was here and as soon as Lucy and Bobby were out the kitchen door Syed stopped hiding his disappointment. "What're you playing at?"

"Babysitting."

"Lucy's here. Come on, Christian. I wasn't born yesterday."

"Alright. I didn't fancy watching you and Amira being loved up all day, that's all."

"Its not going to be like that."

"No?"

"This is work."

"Then why's she coming?"

"She's not."

"That's not what I heard."

"You know I'd rather be there with you."

"Look, Sy. This is one legitimate occasion we can go out together without raising an eyebrow."

"I thought we'd sorted things out. I thought you were happy with what we're doing."

"No, you are happy with what we're doing because you hold all the cards. You get this easy life. Beautiful fiancee. Family business, and when all that pales you've got me dangling on a string, but what do I have?"

"You have me."

Christian blinked and looked down, too angry and upset to keep Syed's gaze.

"You have!" Syed urged him.

Christian shook his head and finally looked up. "All I have is someone I can't even call my partner. Someone that is too ashamed to even acknowledge me in public."

Syed turned his head away and then looked down. It was too painful to see the earnestness in Christian's eye. When Christian was like this – so full on, so emotional – it was difficult to maintain the line in his head that this was just a fling. A fun affair to scratch an itch. When Christian looked at him like that he was forced to admit how much this really meant to both of them, but Christian especially. How much he was hurting his partner by staying in the closet. "All I am to you Sy is still this dirty little secret."

"Amira isn't coming. I told her, Christian."

"What?" Christian stopped, stunned and amazed. "How? When?"

"Yesterday afternoon. I was going to tell you last night but we got sort of side-tracked and then I slept in this morning. I told her I'm gay. Its over," Syed said, looking into Christian's eyes and hoping his lover would believe him. "Its over," He repeated more softly.

Their eyes locked. Christian's intense gaze bore into his eyes, searching Syed's soul in disbelief. "Sy..."

Several seconds passed while the news sank in and then Christian was on him, his mouth claiming Syed's, his hands searching for skin, his hips pressing forwards and for a moment Christian had the upper hand as Syed melted until something changed, passion flared and Syed reacted, fighting for dominance. The two wrestled, mouths locked, hands wandering, grasping, desperate. When Syed's hands wandered down to his belt however, Christian forced himself to pull back. They panted, foreheads resting together.

"We can't. Lucy'll be back any minute with Bobby."

"Later?" Christian asked hopefully.

Reluctantly Syed nodded. He looked up at Christian who stared down at him, biting his lip, joy shining in his eyes. After a moment Christian gave up restraining himself and dipped down for another kiss.

"Christian..." Syed laughed.

Christian just wrapped his arms around Syed's waist again and chuckled, just because.

Syed tried to resist, but seeing Christian's little grin brought a quiet smile onto his face.

"Somebody's happy."

"Very happy."

"You need to get dressed, we're making everyone late!"

"Maybe you could help me..."

"I don't think so, or we'll never get out the door. Go on, I'll be right here," Syed urged him.

Reluctantly Christian stepped back, his hand lingering on Syed's for as long as possible until he finally turned and headed upstairs with a happy smile.

~


End file.
